Christmas greetings to all of you

Christmas greetings to all my blogger friends. I hope the evening and tomorrow finds you with loved ones, joy, happiness and peace that carry you through the rest of the year.

Today's Goal

Today my goal is to frost the batch of sugar cookies so I can get the baked goods I made the last two days to the people I made them for. All this fudge, brownies, covered pretzels and cookies are just sitting here and I can't keep sampling something everytime I walk into the kitchen!

Take a moment

To say my work lately has been crazy is an understatement. My principal has been gone so I have been doing double duty as principal when needed, teacher in my classroom and finishing homework all in the last two week. I don't write alot about work, it is what I do and a part of me and everybody's work gets crazy sometimes, but sometime a "moment" comes along to remind me that the work I do is special, gratifying and a few, rare times just plain sad. I had one of those moments last week or should I say it should have been a "moment" but I have just been TOO BUSY to pay attention. So here is the story...
December is the time of year for the big school Christmas sings-always a big event for us grade school parents-we dress our kids up, charge our cameras-Heck I even take the whole day off and get a front row seat-it is just a tradition, a rite of passage we all do and don't even give a second thought.
So I am busy with my double duty job when I notice the ramp we use for the xmas program at my school is not up for one of my wheelchair students on the day of the program. I had been gone the day before so asked the custodian why, he says he heard the parents didn't want their child going up there. I go back to my assistants to find out what was going on. She explains to me that the mom really wants the daughter to be on the stage because she loves to be part of things and enjoys it, the dad on the other hand says no and everybody will just stare at her. They had a fight and the mom came to school crying about it. Mom says she will come early and pick her up to watch the program-maybe. So mom shows up the morning of the program-red eyed and with the little girl dressed in the most beautiful forest green velvet dress I have ever seen and watches the program with her before she takes her home. The day continues to be crazy, my weekend was crazy and I don't think alot about it-until tonight.
As I tuck Q in and we talk of Christmas I think of this mom-wanting her daughter to be like everyone else and showing her off like we all want to do with our kids. And the dad-still grieving and wanting to protect her from hurt and embarrassment-like we all want to do with our kids. And I think what would I do-NO REALLY-which road would I take-which choice would I make? Could I really see my child sitting there surrounded by 40 other walking, talking, dancing children? I don't know, I really don't.
I don't have to bathe my child every night, feed them through a tube, change them, dress them, hold them as they cry and not know why they are crying, never hear them say my name and to that I am humbled beyond belief. That I have an opportunity in my life to hopefully be a small part in the families lives I touch, to accept their child and at the same time remind myself of how LUCKY and BLESSEd I really am.

So this is my really small moment in a really big blog. I don't have these often, I don't think I could do my job well if I thought about all the sadness all the time, but sometimes I need to let it sink in and think about to remind me of what this life we live is really all about.

Done and with only a few casualties

SO I AM FINISHED!

with only a few casualties of homework:

Hours spent-10:00-4:00

3 Christmas cookies eaten

1 frappacino

Quick lunch break

Snarly remarks at the children-too many to count

And now on the way to 1 long hot soak in the tub, my lower limbs are killing me from sitting, and sore from boot camp after two weeks of absenteeism!

Today I will be FINISHED

TODAY is the day
My goal:
To write and complete the 2-5 page papers hanging over my head, ruining my holiday fun!!!
These will be done at all costs

Party bust..

3 hours spent cleaning-including hands and knees on the wood floor
1 hour last minute decorating
1 hour making awesome dip
1 great Hair day
$$$ spent on dip and wine

All for our school staff party at MY house which will have probably no people due to ICY roads. Oh well, maybe a "date" night in the making

Calgon, take me away

So today was one of those crazy days at work. I don't usually have them. My principal is gone so I am filling in as part of my internship. Right before a long break is always crazy, kids start to go off the wall, Holiday programs and less patient teachers starts to add.This is the week that the procrastinating element of Karen's blog comes into play-I could have been a prophet with that one (see her blog-I don't know how to do the cool link thing yet)

Of course a big issue occurred today so at work for 10 hours, came home to a kid who did his homework all wrong, every single problem- and didn't take us trying to help him very well. Among other "scenarios" that have come up:

The rest of my course work is due Friday, still have 3, five page papers to write before FRIDAY-asked for an extension

MISSING Boot camp tomorrow for boy scouts

Sub plans for the Thursday I will be missing due to the boys Christmas program WHICH Big A is worried about embarrassing himself between the singing and his first orchestra performance

New kiddo I will be getting SOON

And to top if off today was report card day-the usual "areas of improvement" for the older son-ummm lets see-"managing time wisely", "appropriate choices", "staying focused" and "listening" and the youngest who excessively talks.

I could go on and on, or maybe I should stay on facebook where it is all short and sweet!

Ok, there is my rambling for the night, will see you after I get my flippin homework done

The black hole we call Facebook

Now that all of my blogger buds are official facebook fanatics, I will just let you know I am still not a quality facebook participant and look forward much more to the postings here in bloggerville...so hopefully you all keep writing in "first" person here for some deeper conversation:)

Speaking of deep, Big A ran tried out to be a student rep from his class, three boys ran the winner got 22 votes, "A" got 3 and the other kid 2. A little blow to the ego, we really made a point of telling him that trying and taking a risk is what counts. I said "3 votes is better then 0" he says "2 actually, I voted for myself" Ohhhh life lessons sometimes just suck, no better way to put it.

After...

Ok, not only did I give up a little control over tree decorating I gave up ALL of it! I did the lights and snow and the boys, mostly the oldest did the rest. I only moved 2 or 3 (okay maybe 5 or 6) ornaments.

They went from green and blue to Rainbow, I am still sitting here deciding if I will warm up to it. With the lights off it helps

Giving up my artistic control was hard-I pouted a little-I don't have time in my daily life for creating ART-what I went to school for years ago, so my tree is like a one time a year big art project and I miss my THEME tree.

So this is how I will get over it with a few comments from the small frys in our house

"Ohhhhh look at all the colored ornaments, lets get them all out"

"This is the best tree ever"

"This is the best Christmas ever"

"Mom, it is so shiny, espcecially if you stand real close and put your eye up to the bulb"

And here is the number one quote: "It is just like a rainbow, we can call it our rainbow tree"

and as I remembered a small voice saying this in excitement and the exact moment I was blogging it came to me, what is a rainbow?

A hello from God of course

There it is....

...the perfect untouched xmas tree that BOTH boys went with me to pick out

Now I sit here and contemplate the blue/green creation I have promised

Waiting...

For inspiration

I can do this, I have created art, I know it can be done

For Karen

I am not a student of the Bible so hope this isn't out of context or inappropriate, but came across it and it made sense to me and I thought of you on this day...


I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.(John 14:18)

1/2 WAY

I have officially logged in 100 hours on my 200 hour internship! My goal was to have half my hours in by Christmas break. Whooooohoooooooo
BUT
I still have oodles of activities I have to write up and complete-those aren't half done but just celebrating for now!

The Christmas Frenzy part II

Sooooooo Thanksgiving is officially over and the Christmas Frenzy that is ME is on. I am going out on a limb this year, as I wrote before my x-mas tree is a critical part of me-really like a body part-I kid you not. My family knows I drag out all the "stuff" to put on it, and they also know they can look but not touch-I am the sole decorator. I do have a small tree that the boys decorate however they want with ornaments they have made over the years BUT not THE tree. So as I contemplated getting the tree next weekend I nagging memory came back to me.

When I was little my mom was a Christmas freak like me. SHE was the only one who decorated the tree and I remember year after year she would drag out the stuff and among the ornaments were some pretty blue ones. I loved them and I always asked to put them on the tree. Each year the answer was the same, "No the tree is red and gold and the blue balls are for the dish on the coffee table". This was never in a mean way and we did tons of other x-mas fun together but it drove me crazy, just one year couldn't the tree be BLUE? Where is this going you ask? Well as I was shopping with Suree this morning I saw blue bulbs-Blue-Q's favorite color and he always wants blue ornaments to put on the tree. I looked, I contemplated, I agonized-I don't do BLUE very well-probably my least favorite color now-but I got them and I got green-A's favorite color, and I promised myself somehow I would make these two colors work and challenge my creative side. We will see.....

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Our day was pretty quiet and a little melancholy-this was the first year we didn't spend it with any family but the 4 of us. My parents moved to Arizona this fall and for the first time since I was in college we do not live in the same town. I know this has been a luxury-I know all of my blogger friends don't live by their parents and haven't for a long time, but for this first holiday of many without them it was a little sad. "A"misses them alot, especially his papa-he included them in both our Thanksgiving and his nightime prayer.

So here it is a Thanksgiving post, there are no words to express how much we have to be thankful for and the list is too long to write. Each day is a day to give thanks.

Here SHE comes...

I can sense her, she is just around the corner-lurking. She is my alter ego at Christmas time which hubby kindly calls the Christmas Nazi. It starts off with the Festival of Trees which I just went to on Saturday. I walk into a room surrounded by craftsy, artsy trees that I can only dream of being able to create (or afford to create). And then there are the gingerbread houses galore-I was so inspired one year that I tried make my own-have you tried to make a gingerbread house from scratch? I was as good at that as I am at sewing-which means not good at all.

This is how the Christmas Nazi starts the season-listening to x-mas music non stop, looking for holiday recipes, buying egg nog, getting out my 12 tubs of Christmas decor (no this is not a joke-ask hubby he gets them all out for me), scouring hobby lobby for some inspiration for a cool centerpiece or new wreath, watching tons of Christmas videos with the boys, and then finally the TREE. Last year was the first time in a long time that a member of my family went with me (Thank you Q)-they usually boycott this could-be-great family activity due to my searching and searching through the lot for just the right tree. Not kidding, a co-worker who happened to see me go from tree to tree makes wisecracks about it.

I think about the donations I want to make or some kind of community thing to make it special for someone else. I am probably one of the few people who doesn't get short tempered in line or the store-I ooze goodwill (well ok, most of the time).

So there it is, she is coming, I can feel it the Insane Christmas mom is coming and I CAN'T WAIT

competiveness, why me

So we spent the night at a special BMX indoor event. The event was fun and it was good to see all the parents and kids from this summer that you don't see to often. The track was awesome and the boys had a good time. Every kids leaves with something and it is truly a fun, family sport with a wide variety of kids and abilities. So why do I sit there and get a weird feeling I can't even describe when both my kiddos come in dead last in every race-not just last but pretty far behind. Does it bother them-The Big A man-I really don't think so, he has said many times that he likes it for fun-the kid does not have an aggressive or competitive bone in his body. Q-man on the other hand after receiving his runner up prize was mad because I didn't tell him he HAD to get 1st in the last race to make the main event-hmmm would you have pedaled faster buddy? I don't know which is worse my older who kind of tries and has been last since he started or Q who has shown some speed but it depends on his mood.
So I sit there and feel bad and annoyed at the same time at myself mostly that this competitive streak I have sometimes gets the better of me in my head and luckily never comes out of my mouth. I know THIS is my hang up-the whole perfectionist thing I have going on (therapy helped alot with that!) and going 100% all the time, so I am just venting it here and will enjoy the effort, laughter, friends and sportsmanship my kids are enjoying and keep my competiveness DNA to myself:)

From Homework Buzz to Intoxication

So eldest son has an all day chess tournament at the local college. I take this as a sign to load up all my homework stuff-that is really piling on as we near the end of the term (you all remember Fall term, Spring term?) and complete a homework marathon. I have been sitting here since 9:00-it is now 2:10 with only a half our break for lunch and I am feeling like I have been hit with a truck. Not sure if it is the cold I have been keeping at bay for 2 weeks is getting the best of me or my brain is drunk with educational philosophies, multicultural education, transformational leadership, inclusion and the list goes on and on. I have gone to the bathroom a million times and look like one of the college kids who walk in here around 2 to eat in the commons (you know the ones, they have just rolled out of bed due to partying last night), pale, weak and ready to go back to bed. In the back of my mind is the thought that I CANNOT be sick-with a presentation for my class on Mon. night-and a presentation Monday day to 8 of the building leadership teams in the district-a great opportunity to show my speaking skills to a big group in front of those who do the hiring of principals-uggggg-Not being 100% is just not an option.

Thanks for listening and off to imbibe of more homework.

14 years and many more to go

I was at a time in my life when I was resigned to never having a boyfriend like all my friends, never getting married, never meeting that SOMEONE and I would be going it alone and not turning back. WHEN We met on chance-a dare actually to go on a motorcycle ride to the coast-he said my butt wouldn't last a day. Well my good friends you know I hate to LOSE, so away I went on the back of a Harley with a guy I had known for barely a month. Now here we are on the day of our 14th wedding anniversary, 2 kids later, 2 cancers later and a roller coaster ride of both small and big things.. Besides the thought that I am getting older (ugg) I had some random thank you's that go through my mind for my significant other. We don't celebrate with cards or big gifts and I think the appreciation comes in the little things, so here is the list of appreciations. Thank you to my hubby who:

Lets me shop whenever I want and appreciates my sense of decorating style and dress style ,he actually asks my opinion on "What not to wear" for himself

Takes care of the checkbook and all that "silly" money stuff that I have conveniently forgotten how to do

Taught me how to fish and hunt and still puts a worm on my hook for me

Shared with me two beautiful children and listens patiently to my worries about said children

Is the ying to my yang-he never sweats the small stuff and actually doesn't sweat the big stuff. He has taught me that things WILL be out of our control and you can worry or get off the pot and move on

He is never jealous and understands the "me" and "girl" time I need

Sorted the pantry during my week long hospital stay after surgery because he didn't want me to come home to a "messy house"

Encourages me to go out and get what I want, that I am good at my job and have the ability to do so much more

He is the mental rock I cling to when I am frazzled and scattered and the sounding board that I can share anything-and I mean anything about-almost as much a great female friend. It isn't always perfect or romantic on a daily basis but it the length of the journey that counts and oh what a journey it has been.

Early winter cheer

Homework buzz

So besides blogging (I have posted more in 3 days than in the last couple of weeks) over this soon to end 6 day mini-vacation I have caught the homework buzz (FINALLY). The homework buzz goes like this. All the research and bits and pieces I have been collecting-on paper and in my brain-finally come together and make sense. The current one is a teachable point of view (don't ask) but it requires a paper (APA format no less-anyone remember that discussion) and a powerpoint presentation. Once I started the powerpoint everything just flowed and I am booking along on the paper-wahooo. The bad part of the homework buzz is the diet cokeand popcorn I need on my desk. The other downside is the boys being home, the tv has become the babysitter because I am determined to get this FINISHED. It may be a two movie kind of day or a kick in the snowpants outside:)

The crash

So after two days of snowball fights, snow igloos, snow forts, sledding and putting on and taking off layers of clothes my younger son has crashed. This child has not uttered the word "nap" since before the tender age of 3 unless he was sicker then a dog- is as I type sleeping. I came home from boot camp and he asked if I could take a nap with him and proceeded to fall asleep in five minutes. NICE.

Now I can redo the 2nd assignment that somehow got lost on my computer that I had worked on for an hour yesterday. I am thinking my computer is possessed!

Homwork break?

So I finished one small assignment and thought I deserved a break:) The bad part about typing on the computer for homework is ALL the other DISTRACTING stuff I like to look at is a click away. Including this new site http://www.crossfit.com/. After a year of boot camp I think hubby and I have hit a workout plateau and need to step it up (or change eating-HATE to do that). So he found this web site. I did one of the workouts today-they are confusing at first and one of the major exercises is a pullup on a bar-yeah I will let you know when I can actually DO that. I was going to do one of the 20 minute ones-15 minutes kicked my butt and that was with a few minutes of rest on the bike. I think I am going to LOVE it-short, fast and using weights-I am just not a long distance runner like SOME of you awesome athletic people on here so this works for me.
Hubby and are going to go get some equipment for our anniversary this week for our exercise room downstairs-now there is no exuse.

embracing the inner (frozen) snow bunny

Ok, so here is the best part of a snow day (which I just found out we have another one tomorrow). Late in the day as the neighborhood kids come creeping out of their houses (or get kicked out) they congregate on our driveway. Our driveway is steep and the trailer created a huge drift, the fun in the dark creates some great rosy cheek pictures.

Like father, like son

"A" comes home with a book order and little brother gets his hand on it. He finds the perfect book.

What is the title you may ask?

"How to Get Rich Quick"

snow day

Ugggg while some of you are rejoicing about the snow, I am not there yet. I had a cool conference to go today that I can't get to, we were supposed to have parent teacher conferences tonight which now makes our make up day in June to a day and a half and I have no "good" groceries in the house to do anything with. sigh. There are some good points though, I can get all my laundry done and MAYBE make an effort at homework. Better yet I could go back to bed:)

post halloween-halloween party

Here is a pic from our only grown up halloween party. Presenting famous dead people-see if you can guess who each person is:) We also had a Roy Rogers and Dale Evans and a couple of exctinct caveman. The time change was a blessing this morning with my aching head after several rounds of tippy cups and a fun time was had by all!

in the words of homer simpson "Doh"

Uggggggg I spent most of the afternoon working on my fabulous idea for class-researching, finding quotes, notes-almost two typed pages of "things". I go to work on it just a few minutes ago and I DIDN'T SAVE IT.......

ever get a "sign"

So I am actually blogging because I am home with the older son. He woke up with a nasty looking eye (pink eye) so I rush to work to do sub plans and come home. By the time I get here it looks better-I hate staying home with pink eye, the kid is not sick-just contagious-really can he spread it around to others THAT much at school?
Anyway we head to the dr for drops. While we are the drs. this 20 something couple walks in ahead of me for labs. The girl is helping the guy walk and when the lab lady comes out they have to help him out of the chair-the lab tech knows him, he is a frequent flyer it looks like and very sick with something and pretty out of it. My heart immediately hurts for them and him. So while I am sitting there-annoyed-that I can't be at work, my kid is missing school-when he missed a day last week a thought comes a "sign" maybe...Go home, relax for the day-don't be annoyed at something so small and trivial, and relflect on how good life really is TODAY.

Whew, confernces over and done

So the fall conferences are over and done with and as usual no big surprises and the actual process did not deserve the anxiety I gave it. Big A got to lead his own conference and that was interesting. He was NERVOUS but did a great job, he is starting to see the connection between his effort and responsibility for learning but still not the most organized or best listener. His teacher is a blessing. Q's conference was OK, I refuse to throw fellow peers under the bus so won't. He of course was advanced in math so here I am on the end of instead of helping my struggling child- I have to think of how to challenge my advanced child-it is just as much of a quandry.
What is the funniest part is BOTH boys were needing improvement in the area of talking and being TOO social. This is such an oxymoron for me. My grade school years were full of painful shyness, few friends and a true wallflower. Not a social butterfly by any means (of course making up for it now-must be a late bloomer) it is funny how people who know me now in this phase of my life are surprised.

On another not the one characteristic my oldest son inhererited is my emotional sensitivity for good and bad. He feels things so deeply that sometimes it hurts me just to watch because I know EXACTLY how he feels and is analyzing the situation. We had a disagreement and Hubby gave him a guilt trip. He comes out to say "can we talk" so we do. He worries about when he gets angry and being mad and that he is a bad person. WOW it is like talking to a mirror. So I LISTEN and say the only thing I can think of. We are human-we get scared, sad, happy, nervous and mad-even at the people we love-it is how we fix the problem that counts. The people we love the most sometimes are on the recieving end of the worst and best of us. That God made us a family for a reason because he knows what he is doing (because sometimes I don't have a flippin clue). And coming to talk to the person you love is sometimes all you can do...

so thank you big guy for coming to talk to me and I hope you always do.

a greener me

So I am not the best "green" person out there. I recycle but sometimes (okay most of the time) don't reuse plastic water bottles. And I am a plastic grocery sack girl all the way-they work great for the litter box. But today I am turning over a green leaf. I bought these cool bags to use and REUSE from this really cool catalog. NOW I just have to not leave the damn things on the car seat when I go to the grocery store!

Best part about going green is I rewarded myself with a really cool t-shirt I just had to have.

Facebook??

Ok, so I am new to this blogging thing and along comes facebook. I have been hearing the buzz and of course my brave friends Karen and Chris hop on the facebook bandwagon and then all of a sudden I see Suree up there. SO I get on JUST so I can be curious and now I am up there *sigh*

I don't have time for facebook and I have to admit it kind of creeps me out. I think Carey had mentioned about not wanting to cyber hug-I would have to agree. I think I will just hang out here in blog world:)

Ok, back to the homework grind.

The prarie

This post could be long so I will try to condense it. I went pheasant hunting for the first time with my family. Hubby and I did lots of walking while the boys followed and then got bored and scoured hay bales for caterpillars. It was a beautiful day on the prarie, warm, blue and no wind. It was also a great day to connect with hubby. We hunted at his grandma's place near Philip. She is 90 something and not doing very well. She lives in the same house she did 70 years ago and the place is kind of a wreck. It is hard for him to see his grandma and the place he grew up at this way. As we walked (and walked) he would just mention little snippets of how he shot a badger here, his grandma hunting with him here and so on. I could tell the day was like a walk down memory lane which he doesn't often do. As he cleaned birds and talked to his grandma I rambled around the place and took tons of pics, not great ones but just something to remember the place. It was tranquil and quiet and almost like it would have seemed in the homestead days. I can't wait to go back out again. The pheasant hunting stories and the ones I missed will be for another day.

worse than the dentist

So I have to agree with Karen getting my teeth cleaned is way up there with things I really hate to do. Something that comes in a close second is BUYING JEANS. I hate spending money on expensive jeans-which after buying a pair at the Gap that I love-have found it does make a difference. More then the money I hate TRYING on jeans-even on a good day. I hate the 3 inch rise made for 15 year olds that allows the muffin top to really spill over, the boot cut tight thigh that makes my thighs look like hams and the low rise in the back that shows WAY too much. The trying on part is exhausting-I always leave wishing I had a better diet and didn't get lazy with the exercise and hadn't inherited child bearing hips. I am too scared to try buying jeans online so that is out.

So I am sitting here choosing between two evils-homework or jeans-which I am in the "mood" to shop for but antipate a long couple of hours. Hmmmmmmm

Pie recipe just for Karen

1 egg
8 oz sour cream (I use light)
3/4 C sugar
2 T flour
1 t vanilla
1/4 t salt
4 C chopped apples-tart
1 unbaked pie crust
1/2 C flour
1/3 C packed brown sugar
2 T butter

Mix together egg, sour cream, sugar, flour and vanilla stir in apples
Pour into crust-cover crust edges with foil
Bake at 400 for 25 minutes
Combine flour and brown sugar-cut in butter and sprinkle over pie
Remove foil and bake for another 20 minutes

It is really yummy warm and cold the next day for breakfast:)

release

Definition of release:

Act of freeing or state of being freed

So tonight half my family is gone-Hubby and older son are off on a pheasant hunting trip so just myself and Q are home.

I had some friends over, not my bestest friends-almost bestest and mostly work related but very good friends. Each friend knows me in a different way and came at different times so I had time alone with each one to visit, share and try to be a good listener (I am always a work on progress in that area:). Then we were all together and laughed our asses off. I love laughter, love to hear laughter and to make people laugh with sarcasm, humor, or any means necessary.

The point is the time I have with friends-all kinds of friends is always the BEST. Not one little worry crosses my mind and I laugh and RELEASE all the anxieties and stresses that I let build up and know that I am not so weird-others have those same thoughts and experiences. It is almost zen like. Oh yeah a couple glasses of wine (or a bottle) will make you use that word-ZEN-. There is nothing like womanhood and those that share it with you to make you feel OKAY and not alone.

Okay back to reality to watch a movie in bed with younger son-the second best part of half my family out hunting.

Christmas pic tradition

So I drug my family out on Sunday morning for the annual Christmas card picture. Last year was easy with pics from our trip. After sending my friend who takes them to Spearfish by mistake we got them done this weekend. We get some good ones along with goofy boy ones. Nothing like a camera to bring out the annoying boy language and behavior, hubby is thankful I only make us do it once a year:)

Pie day

Hubby and I are getting into the habit of cooking together on Sunday or Saturday. Not the easy quick stuff during the week, but the more time consuming recipes. Tonights specialty is Chicago style deep dish sausage and meatball pizza-complete with homemade crust and sauce. My job was the sour cream-apple pie (with streusal on top). Hmmmm I think I will go to bed 10lbs heavier:)

preparing for battle

The boys have been "working together" to look for their nerf bullets to shoot. In the process they have torn apart their rooms looking and moved on to other playing. SOOOOOO I am mentally preparing myself for the 6:00 PM timeline I gave them to have it all picked up just like it does before a good vacumming. Better have some wine soon to prepare and for the aftermath

Pseudo Mountain Biking

So hubby has been into mountain biking for a few years now (when he has the time) and my oldest son loves it (it is amazing how much faster he is on a trail then in a track race). Anyway I have toyed with the idea of trying it myself but never have. The whole idea of falling and then falling on rocks is not very appealing. BUT I really want to be able to go as a family so I have tried it a couple of times-and didn't fall so willing to try some more.

Hubby invests in a nice bike for me and we go out today with younger son. So today as I am riding I realize I REALLY like it, but not for all the reasons I think I would.

I thought it would be great exercise-I go so slow (fear of falling again) that I don't really work up a sweat-so at this point it is not the greatest workout-still love it

I like to do things I AM GOOD AT-I am not good at this, I look just like an almost 40 year old trying to take on a new sport and it is not very graceful-still like it

I like to go fast and workout quickly-again this does not happen but still love to ride

I am competitive I want to be as cool and good as these other mountain bikiing women I know-and I know that is impossible -and for once I really don't mind and here is why...

I realize WHY I am really liking this biking thing. It is NOT EASY. It takes all my concentration all my intensity to maneuver over things, up things, go the right speed, NOT FALL. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing else running through my brain at the time-NOTHING but my body, the bike, scenery and especially the crunch of the tires over leaves and rocks and sticks.-I even forget to stop and wait for small fry. I am an expert multi tasker and I am often thinking of a million things-work, parenting, school and just plain worrying. But when I am on the bike my mind is clear and challenged. CHALLLENGED and not just going through the motions, how often can I say that happens each day-not very often.

T

Future scientist or unabomber??

Ok I am putting the first real cooked meal I have made in two weeks in the preheated oven. As I slide the casserole dish in I notice a bright green blob on the bottom of the oven. Hmmm I think to myself that is a weird food particle. I proceed to scrape and SCRAPE the blob off the hot surface and lay it on the counter to cool. I am perplexed as to what it is so I ask hubby. He says "Looks like some kind of pottery, I bet the boys threw it in their like a kiln". Ahhh the postitive genetic trait is coming back to me.

I take green blob back to big kid and little kid and say "What is this?". Big kid claims to have no idea and little kid says "oooohhh pottery". Busted. He denies it, I threaten and drop if for the evening. Later in our confession booth called the xterra. Little brother says to me "ok mom let me explain I think it was some plasticy stuff, yeah, maybe with some crytstal stuff in the middle and I think I threw it in when you guys were outside or sleeping. And oh, it may have some metal in the middle." WHAT. After a lecture about NOT putting things like chemicals and metal IN THE OVEN. He says to me, "ok, well I am really going to not tell you about my next experiment when I was going to make this stick thing and light it with a spark, really mom how am I ever going to be a scientist!!"

This kid is never getting his own work bench in the garage.

Ahhhh

Nothing like nature to soothe my weary, tired, crabby self. I put off laundry, homework and house stuff to go fishing and a small (very small) hike at our favorite place. The colors are just turning. It was just what we needed. A few pics of course to share our fun. I love the one of Q from the side, it is such a genuine smile-not the goofy one he gives me when I usually take pictures.

Falling Down

Anyone ever see the movie with Michael Douglas where he just gets out of his car and starts walking along the freeway aimlessly? That is how I have felt since the start of school for numerous reasons. BUT it will be okay. To save time I am responding to many of you in one post. Sorry-until things settle down there is no individual attention for anyone, read the list-you will know who you are:)
On the Bright Side
Coffee shop-Do it-revel in the scariness, dreaming and the new and unchartered path-regret is way worse
Fall-Yes I love the fall to-if it would get here. Sitting in a 90 degree classroom is not fun
Bouncing-Whatever you do-don't mess with the nose
I am actually making a dinner tonight that didn't come from a can, box, drive through or leftover container (this HAS been the norm since school started)
My professor cut out at least HALF the course work-lots of complaining on my classmates part.


On the dark side- I was a little peeved though, most of my classmates DIDN'T do anything for class last weekend so we did it IN class AFTER I had worked to the bone every night until 10 or so after work, ignoring everyone in my house to get it done.
Orthodontist-yeah get your kid to be one! Can we all say "payment plan"
I am catching a cold or something-uggggggg

Alright if you have just finished my scattered, incohesive ADHD like post-you are good friend!

A positive genetic trait-maybe

So maybe this a sign I haven't passed all my negative genetic traits on to my children (stubborness, sarcasm, emotional, competive). Maybe, just maybe they have a slight artistic side.

A had his first pottery wheel class this summer-Not bad for a first timer-looks the same as my first efforts. He is begging to go again this fall.

Q tried handbuilding so of course the pot had to have an octopus stuck in it some how

Why homeschooling would not work for me

My reward for completing some homework is a quick blog before bed.

So older son brings home a worksheet on Mt. Rushmore for homework. The last question is "Who do you think should be the next president on Mt. Rushmore?". Elder son is lost as to a names, (you can tell we don't talk a lot of politics over here) and mentions one that hunts would be good (yeah, don't even ask). So I SAY "Well what about the president who developed all the National Parks and was a big outdoor guy, you know Teddy Roosevelt?"

Elder son looks at me with this LOOK and says-

"Mom, he is already up there"

Oh....yeah, I knew that.

I saved myself though, we looked up Franklin Roosevelt and discussed World War II and the Great Depression.

A little redemption...

today ugggggggg

Like it says in the childrens book with Alexander.

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I am never, never going to make it through this semester

LOVE THIS SONG

So in my busy day I even managed to download some new songs for my shuffle. I found this awesome song by Alicia Keys-Superwoman. If you haven't heard it, it is awesome!!

Ahhhh ungrounded

Things finished today:
4 baskets of clean laundry
2 hours of homework
Lesson plans
Meatloaf, cake, chicken tortilla soup (thanks to hubby)
Clean boys bedrooms (with their help)
Trip to shopko

And I even slept in until 8

Today's goals

Put the clean laundry away that has been sitting in the basket since labor day

Clean the mini reptile gardens cages in A's room-too close to smelling like the real place

I am officially grounded from any blogging until these things are done, so if you don't hear from me until later this week you know I didn't complete my mission.

What I really want to do today though is fishing in the cool, misty, rainy weather!

Ok what is a new word for overwhelmed?

All right got my SECOND class syllabus-it makes the first one look easy. So instead of looking at it and wanting to cry I come over here to blog... which is actually another word for procrastinate.


Uggggggggggggg, this is so going to drive me over the edge!!!!

Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed as defined in the dictionary:
To load, heap, treat or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything
Yep that about fits right now or I can sense it coming down this way. WHY??

Today I only crossed one thing off my to do list-called to make a hair appt. it is all about priorities
Recieved the syllabus for 1 of my 2 classes this semester-with assignments attached-a syllabus always visually overwhelms me
Keep staring at the big internship book that hasn't been touched in 2 weeks
The laundry in the basket, that is staying in the basket
The after school crush of dinner, baths, playing, going over backpacks and paperwork
The loss of working out for the next few weeks-something has to take a back seat for the start up of the school year
The weird smell coming from the boys bathroom sink-I have no motivation to pursue that any further
My neglected plants outside since I have been at work
Lesson plans
Assessments
Meeting with teachers
Rapport with parents
Begining of the year paperwork
Putting out small fires....

The shining star-A's first day went well. He even asked me to get his book order done, he wants to turn it in early AND he showed me his daily planner

Riding in Cars with a boy

AGAIN our best conversation is in the car
Big A and I were prepping for the first day of 4th grade and discussing making good choices etc...
We were discussing gross a and silly things NOT to do. I mention armpit farting-a third grade favorite with his group. He turns to me so seriously and says,
"OK, but you know what mom, when I get fur under there I won't be able to make armpit farts anymore or fur on my legs I won't be able to do them under my knees"

Hmmmm

Dusty, Windy Aberdeen

So all summer long hubby and I have been telling ourselves we would NOT be going to Aberdeen for the State Championship BMX races. Multiple reasons including the boys just do it for fun and all the other kids were better, money, time-yada yada. Long story short we go-with hubby kicking and screaming at first:)

Not only do the boys hold their own they surprised us in more ways then one. A's competition was stiff-just as it was here. He didn't make it to the final race Saturday-and had a scary moment where he went up and over the side of the course but did make it Sunday with a last place finish and excited to make it to the main race. When I gave him some sympathy the first day he says, "It's ok mom, it's all about the fun anyway". Gotta love the laid back one

Q's weekend was a litte different. He is turning out to be more COMPETITIVE then we thought and actually pretty good. The first race he makes it to the final and then is in FIRST and hauling ass and FALLS and doesn't finish. The second day he races all 7 year olds and ends up flying into the main race. He starts in 5th place and moves into third, tries to pass someone and ends up going off the jump and off the course-automatic last place. He finished the race and doesn't even know it. I (the competitor at heart) am devastated so are the other Rapid Citians there. He apologizes to his big brother for not getting the big trophy to add to their collection and starts to think of next years trip.

It was our last summer hurrah and well worth it.

The true spirit of sportsmanship

So after Q's crazy weekend and some heartbreaking moments his little buddy and the boy's mom comes looking for us with this big trophy in hand. The little boy is 5 and he and Q raced head to head all last year with Q being left in the dust. This year things are a little different and the boys don't race in the same group but they really support each other. So the mom tells me that "M" has this trophy he wants to give it to Q. The story behind it is last year her son had a rough weekend at the finals and some mom and racer she didn't know gave it to them to honor his hard work and determination with the promise that the following year he pass it on to another child he thought deserved it. "M" picked Q and now it is his job to pass it on next year. I still get goosebumps thinking about her choking up while she was telling me the story. And my neighbor and I were about in tears behind our sunglasses.

I asked Q later what was his favorite part-he said the trophy M gave (My first thought was that he was going to say because it was the biggest). He says it is his favorite because it stood for friendship. WOW

The spirt of sportsmanship was very alive and well today in the smallest of hearts.

For Chris

I DID take some pics of people on the hike:)