Friday, June 12, 2009

Fear and failure

So as you know I have details of big news to share next week. It is painful not being able to share exciting news with people I love but it is the ethical side of my new adventure-my first test I suppose.
Along with new adventures come new fears, for me it is always fear of failure. Fear of not pleasing, fear of not doing something well. Fear of struggling, not knowing answers and being pulled between home/work/self. Then other fears snowball, like ok, something really good has happened, now will something bad happen? It is just the silly pattern my brain takes sometimes and it is down right annoying. I fear the loss of time-already-the things I had planned for the summer that now I am afraid to plan for or take time to do. I already look at the calendar and think of how quickly these next few weeks will go... and how can I cram all the usual fun in that we normally do. Ultimately I know it is not quantity but quality-just keep reminding myself that.

I do so love the adventures and journeys but sometimes the fear just creeps in there somehow:<

3 comments:

Chris said...

I have a good guess, but I have sworn myself to secrecy (dang I need a dictionary).

carey said...

one.day.at.a.time.

i know you are scared and nervous and excited, but the thing is, you will work your butt off in your new role. you know that. you won't let yourself fail, it's just not in you.

cherk said...

Oh, Carey you are so sweet and reassuring.