February, I really hate February. I used to hate it when I was much younger in the teen years because I never had anyone to celebrate with (stupid I know, but those teenage hormones do weird things). I now hate February because no matter how hard I try or how many years go by my mind drifts back to my surgery. Stupid again I know. I went in last year totally not worried and came out not with terrible or even bad news, just not to my expectations.
So this year my mind dwells on the worst so I am not disappointed. This is an unhealthy pattern of mental behavior and I know it. I message a good friend, ALOT-about all my weird thinkings. About the other day when I thought I was having a heart attack (it was anxiety), or when my fingers were turning blue-thought it was the CT scan dye-turned out I was cold and dehydrated-I believe my good nurse friend called it "constricted". Should have shared that with the snake lover at my house he would have loved that.
So here I sit in my usual February Funk...just waiting for the pattern to change.
4 comments:
here is the good news. february is the shortest month of the year. valentines day was and always will be stupid. YOU are stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for, and we all love you and are here for you.
and march is just around the corner.
YEAH, WHAT CAREY SAID!!!
Valentine's Day is the crappiest holiday, right after New Year's Eve. It's all hype and disappointment. You're not alone there.
The rest? Well, we love you and are and will be praying. Thanks for letting us in, Cher. I'm glad to carry even a little bit of your burden.
i love valentine's day, so quit your smack, girls.
i find it funny that the world's biggest loser in the love dept. loves VALENTINE'S day! of course, it's because valentines are wonderfully cute and fun to design.
so there.
however. yes. february sucks, for other aforementioned reasons. thanks for bringing it up, cher.
I want a Valentine from you, Bob...the WH sucks baaaaad in this department.
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