I am not posting this to create a debate (Karen and I pondered last night that pondering is good when one knows that the thought isn't right or wrong).
Small Fry is an over thinker (not sure where that comes from genetically), so at the dinner table he says, "So I am wondering about the truth about Santa". Silence from the other 3 family members at the table. Big Fry says nothing as he was threatened with death years ago to not spill the beans.
I of course answer a questions with a question, "Well, what do you thing?". This perplexes my small black and white thinker. "Mom, I am wondering if he is real or do you do it?" I respond with "Do you really want to know?'. Silence. As he gets into bed he brings it up again, how he just can't stop thinking about it. "Mom, what do you think?"
I look him straight in the eye...and for one of the few times...lie. I say, "I believe". He swallows hard, faces the wall and goes to bed.
A few minutes later I hear loud sobbing and go to check it out. He is beside himself. "Ijust don't KNOWWWWWW?", "I love Christmas, and I just don't know what I want to believe...., you copied that from the polar express"
I reasssure him I did not copy, I tell him I had that same question and my mom told me the same thing, "Well, it is all about what you believe"
He sobs more, reads some Diary of Wimpy Kid and when I go back to tuck him in he says "Thanks for calming me down mom"
As I walked away I felt a little ashamed and a little selfish. My mom's heart says he just wasn't READY for the truth-really, he knew it and I knew it-the truth that is. At the same time, there are some things you need to just BELIEVE in, have FAITH in, whatever they are for whomever you are.
You all may deep down disagree with me and my actions on many levels but that's ok, blogging is as much for ourselves as it is for those who read it. It reminded me immediately though of a texting conversation with a good friend last night, and a wonderful future wine date (even if it is just a wish right now) to ponder about beliefs without judgement or persuasion, just to love each other love what makes us all tick.
4 comments:
sigh. yep. this is hard. jace told me he knew the truth two Christmases ago and i asked him to keep it to himself for josh's sake. needless to say, by that evening josh also knew the truth. kind of sad. i don't think there is a right or wrong, it just is. you telling him you believe will just be part of his story--the story he will tell his kids someday when they ask the same question.
what?
there is no Santa????!!!
dangit.
Yeah, that is a hard one.On the one hand it is so cute and fun watching kids so excited about Santa, but I remember how betrayed I felt when I learned the truth. What is the right answer? Now, I think it is part of our culture to tell our kids about Santa. Learning the truth, although not fun for a kid, is also a part of our culture. But if you don't participate in this tradition, you run the risk of your kids telling all the other kids & then having to deal with mad parents. When he does figure out the truth, all you can do then is explain why we in our culture does this. He may not get it right away, but he will eventually.
Love your way of thinking bobbi! I think my hubby still gets me Santa gifts!
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