For Karen

Small fry and I are cooling off from our tour before we go out for some errands. I let Karen choose a story and of course she picked the "deepest" one. So here goes

As the weather has gotten warmer and small fry has been out practicing baseball-big fry comes out and joins us, always not for long. When I have mentioned that big fry has some fine motor problems you have to understand that this is really an overall motor problem. I think he is the only 11 year old who can still not catch something as small as a baseball consistently. He does enjoy swinging the bat and does ok. For this very reason when Big fry asked to play baseball last year-ON A TEAM, we had to tell him no. At his age baseball in Rapid it is cut throat and that is not an exaggeration. So this year he doesn't ask to play but he comes out to catch and hit a few. This particular night he comes out, tries to hit a few grounders for his brother to field and after many misses, he say "I am going inside". After awhile when we are done and we go to find him, he is no where to be found. We start riding through the neighborhood and find him over at the house of small fry's coach. The dad is throwing pitches to him, which big fry always asks him to do every time he sees him ( I think he thinks if he practices with SOMEONE who KNOWS baseball then he will magically be awesome at it). They practice awhile.
In his easy going way you can tell in his face he wants it, wants it so bad. To be able to be as good as his YOUNGER brother. To have us come to something just to watch him, instead of being the big brother in the stands. To be as good as all the kids in our neighborhood who are all freaks of athletic genetics (not exaggerating there either) and asked to play with them once in awhile. To be PART of something that is cool. It breaks my heart, I feel inept. I love him for trying, I love him for being vulnerable in front of another adult and saying "hey can you play with me" because he really wants to "get it". I can see the resilency in him, which he doesn't even recognize, or know that resilency comes from being knocked down and getting back up-honestly something his younger sibling often lacks because things are "easy".
And here is the final deep part-my big metaphor for life and something I know he will "get" and serve him well, is what life is about sometimes:
To just keep going up to the plate no matter what keep swinging big guy, just keep swinging.

There you go Karen-hope it pleases you:)

Field Trip

I can't wait for tomorrow. I get to take my children to school-I think I have done that 2 or 3 times in five years (daycare the first 5 was a different story). Not only do I get to drop them off but I get to get on a bus with a big bunch of second graders and head to Reptile Gardens. Which I have never done-not the Reptile Gardens part-could do all the tours in my sleep, but the field trip part. A definite perk of the new job is being able to take personal days whenever I want. Small fry asked me to go, he also did me a huge favor. The kids who have parents going were able to choose to have their parent chaperone them and a buddy or just have their parent to themselves. Guess what small fry chose? No buddy, so I get the benefit of the field trip with no other children to watch wahooooo. Tomorrow is just me and a fun mom day. Can't wait!

So many stories, so little time

7 days, say it with me 7 days, at least until students are gone. I have so many stories I would love to blog about, like the following:

Pee wee baseball and this thing called pitcher development league that is going to break my heart or at least small fry's
Small fry's friend who told him he was going to the underworld with the devil
Big Fry's attempts to practice baseball with small fry, which quickly fizzle-but I find him over at the neighbors house practicing with small fry's coach-this is a long deep story
Hubby's summer hours which are going to be horrendous and leave us no time together on the weekends
Celebrating Suree's 39th birthday-partying like it was 1999-and worrying about it after
My dishes I finally got put away from the dishwasher-that have been sitting in there clean since Monday and the dirty ones OUT of the sink.
The 300,000 budget I have to do an allocation for and list how we will spend every penny next year-the one area of my job that scares me to death-and was not an interview question posed last year at this time. Hmmm if they saw who took care of money at my house they might have.
I would love to write about many of these things, but do not have the energy or time because I am so FREAKIN (Oh yeah and whatever publisher who thinks that word isn't effective for just about any reader is just silly) tired and scattered.
Scattered, that is the word, add an adjective-frenetically scattered.
By the way I am still harboring deep resentment about Bono and his back

Bummer!!

Man am I bummed-and I am going to have one bummed 11 year old also when I go home. The U2 concert is officially postponed until 2011. Really?? Can't he sing through a little back pain?

Here's the plan

I guess the thought of running the last leg (2.5) in front of a crowd of people is something my team mates would rather not do and would prefer to run the 6 mile. I have thus been nominated as the final and shortest leg which my partners very excitedly said "see you can be our strong finisher-you can even sprint!" This perplexes me,I am thinking A)the gal who volunteered is more of a matyr than I am, B)She is more competitive than I am or C) They are afraid of me passing out and none of us finishing!

On another note how does an 11 year old go from blushing and talking about how the lovely Elizabeth in his class ruffles his hair (every day) and asked him to sit by her at lunch. To which he said no thank you because they were already scrunched-and he later admitted he was to nervous to say yes-we gotta work on those risk taking skills. To a meltdown about division, and going to bed early, AND not getting much outside time, AND how the days until the year is over are SO LONG. I need to keep reminding myself these life changing events (such as the last year of elementary school) may seem far in my distant mind is so far the biggest stressor in his up to this time. Or we can just chalk it up to hormones *sigh*

uh-oh

Here is the running up date so far. I am cruising along, up to a little over 3 miles-minscule walking-if on the treadmill, and a little more when outside in the elements. That treadmill is deceiving! I am pretty proud and ready to move on to the 4-putting aside the back arthritis that flares up EVERY time I run. I then receive an email with the updated relay distances. We find out that the 3 four mile sections have become a 2.5, 3.8 and 6, yeah the 6 jumps out at you doesn't it? It did me anyway. So now 3 of us have to somehow decide who is going to take the leap and do the 6 mile. Man, I know which one I want. I suggested ultimate fighting style, with winner picking-I haven't had any takers yet.

Who knew?

Who knew the end of the school year was actually 100 times more draining then the beginning?Or else I am just forgetting how busy I was getting ready for my new job.
I really don't want to call one more parent because their kid isn't getting along with another kid and got hit with a basketball in the face and wants me to look at video tape to confirm it.
Or follow up on one more bus incident
Or think about what I should read this summer to further my knowledge

I can feel my empathy draining and my desire to please and solve evaporate as the end of the tunnel is in sight and visions of fishing, camping, the pool, and the desire to do nothing but cook really good meals-more than once a month, and spending quality time with the boys sets in. To finish as strongly as a I started and model to the teachers that the end of the year isn't about celebrating that we are almost done and good riddance, but that it is almost over and I can't wait to do all those new things I learned this year and implement them next year. Hitting the wall is easy but getting over it is the hard part. That my friends is my next step, getting over this wall.

By the way we can do orchestra AND study skills wahhooooooo

Also a summer highlight-Big Fry's first concert-just me and him for U2 and Lenny Kravitz in Dever Can.not.wait!!

May 6 what??

The last thing anyone wants to wake up to on May 6 is snow-but guess what, we did! At this point I have given up any hope of spring and think that we are back to fall.

rocking the viola it is

Right AFTER I posted below. Big fry comes home and says "guess what, I was playing the Star Spangled Banner and my teacher started to play with me. When we finished she said I sounded so good I should try out to play at the Rush game (local hockey team) next year! Isn't that cool mom I should start practicing even more" Yes buddy start practicing even more because Middle School Orchestra is a big step. Isn't funny how some of those ponderings we have just work themselves out.

orchestra or study skills

Have a meeting at the middle school in a couple of weeks and we are at a crossroads. Study skills class or orchestra for big fry. Orchestra gives him the group of friends and social connections he needs and something he is actually good at for not practicing (9th chair out of 25 kids) which my musician savy friends tell me is awesome. But the fine motor and less than stellar organizational skils have us worried that getting wayyyy behind on work is going to be an ongoing issue. Like pooh would say, "think, think, think, think"

offended or laughing

As I am running errands with my mother, big fry turns into his hormonal, icky self. As Karen has suggested, I put my foot down and did not give in (the only person more stubborn than my son is ME). This creates quite a scene in the car in which he tells me "I wish you had just stayed in Denver!" I honestly didn't know if I should be offended or laugh...

By the way there is nothing worse than having to did your heels in, in front of a grandparent uggggg