So we spent the night at a special BMX indoor event. The event was fun and it was good to see all the parents and kids from this summer that you don't see to often. The track was awesome and the boys had a good time. Every kids leaves with something and it is truly a fun, family sport with a wide variety of kids and abilities. So why do I sit there and get a weird feeling I can't even describe when both my kiddos come in dead last in every race-not just last but pretty far behind. Does it bother them-The Big A man-I really don't think so, he has said many times that he likes it for fun-the kid does not have an aggressive or competitive bone in his body. Q-man on the other hand after receiving his runner up prize was mad because I didn't tell him he HAD to get 1st in the last race to make the main event-hmmm would you have pedaled faster buddy? I don't know which is worse my older who kind of tries and has been last since he started or Q who has shown some speed but it depends on his mood.
So I sit there and feel bad and annoyed at the same time at myself mostly that this competitive streak I have sometimes gets the better of me in my head and luckily never comes out of my mouth. I know THIS is my hang up-the whole perfectionist thing I have going on (therapy helped alot with that!) and going 100% all the time, so I am just venting it here and will enjoy the effort, laughter, friends and sportsmanship my kids are enjoying and keep my competiveness DNA to myself:)
2 comments:
That is a hard one. Do they have any events that the parents can ride in also? Then you could occupy you competitive side while your boys just have fun;) Or you could take up knitting and try to complete an entire scarf before they are done with the days event. Little contest with yourself? Helping? No? I tried.
You are so not alone. I watch my kids play sports with a total knot in my gut, knowing that it's ridiculous and hating myself for it. Big J CRIED with a mitt over his head the whole last inning of his baseball tournament, letting ball after ball roll right by him. I actually got up and went to the fence to yell at him to stop crying.
So pathetic. I'm going to try HARDER this year, starting with hockey, to just be supportive and smile at the end no matter what.
But I hear ya, sister. I hear ya.
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